... - 2005-01-23
. - 2005-01-23
=( - 2004-05-17
ip - 2004-04-16
berlin - 2004-03-14
2003-01-23 @ 15:04
I just came home from school. I hate it. I can't concentrat anymore. The only thing I concentrate about are food, weight, food, calories, food, food and FOOD. Oh god, I don't know if I can do this anymore. Why can't I just be thin or if that is impossible I wish I was dead. I can't live like I do now. The first thing I did do when I came home from school was to beinge. *mad* I mean, I had 200 g of pringles and some grapes. That's fucking much!! When january is over I going to be so fat. My weight is 112 ponds now and I'm only 5'8" *crying* I'm really really fat. Why can't I just do some magic and be down to 65 pound again. I really need to be thin!! But if I start losning weight again they just send me back to the hospital and tube feed me. Oh god, I hate my life, and I hate my weight.
Sorry if I bore everyone who reads this, but this is my thoughts and I know they are a bit depressing but that's how I am.
before - after
© Nemi 2002/2003
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>>me
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Today I feel:
I wanna have control
I wanna perfect body
I wanna perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
So fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.
~Creep - Radiohead~
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